The mid twenty life crisis!

Mid twenty life crisis - it is not just a term used to exaggerate something, it actually exists. Be it professional or personal,life is always on a roller coaster ride with a lot of ups and downs. If one lot is confused on what to make a career in, the other lot is clueless of why they chose a particular profile - especially engineers.

Already every relative alive on the planet has their eyes on you and your salary package, marriage proposals start rolling in and stress just kills every inch of life you have inside you. To top it all, the mid twenty crisis just gets torturous when your boyfriend/girlfriend bails on you,breaks up for the most erratic reasons ever.

You may get break up reasons from a range of 'I think we need to explore other options, we got committed just too young. I think we should be just friends' or 'You are a nice person, but I think I need to concentrate on my career and I need space' or 'My parents are looking for a groom/bride and you are not my caste, they will not accept us - I will miss you but I cannot simply betray my parents' - this being one of the most classic reasons cited by majority of Indians.

So what happens once you are somewhere between 23 to 25 and a douchebag just leaves you!
 You could become a devdas using alcohol as a means to forget the relationship yet you keep on talking about it to every person you meet. Some unfortunate tend to get a little psychotic like Salman Khan in tere naam, (This species is truly dangerous, you really do not want to be here). Right from suicidal attempts to emotional episodes to getting violent with your ex - you do it all.

A very rare outcome from a bad breakup in the 20's is the wild child one. Join this league and you are like the Dipika Padukone of Cocktail, party, flirt around and do everything your partner had stopped you to. 'True love is a sham,lust is what I believe in' becomes your motto in life.

So whatever league you join, obviously there are more than these three, you change. A teenage break up is hard, but it still gives you hope that your prince in shining armour is waiting for you in college. A break up is difficult after you know life is not the high school musical or ishq vishq and you have to struggle to earn for everything (unless ofcourse you are of the Ambani type of clan, and your biggest problem in life is that you have an Audi while your friend owns a Porche). You do not want to start over again, you do not trust people, you think you are going to be alone all your damn life and your work becomes your love, your diversion and your source to survival.
It gets worse when you start getting marital pressures from family. It is like every damn person in your age group is getting married and you are far from the thought of even going out on a date. It pinches when you receive an invitation from a couple who you thought would not even last a year, but hey they are tying the bloody knot.

A lot of other bad things are on the list, right from seeing your ex move on in a week and start dating while you are crazy single to being the alone one with friends in a group full of two's. It is way more difficult than you imagine, you feel lost and wasted. 


Yes, it is a scar for a lifetime, and a lesson learnt. But at the end of everything, there is going to be one day when you would thank your ex for the break up, cos it would have transformed you into a person so much better and stronger and attractive (post break up glows are charming as ever). I do not know if you would find true love or not, but losing hopes of finding one will definitely increase your chances on it. As they say, 'Do not search and crave for love, it will come to you when you expect it the least'. Till then, there are far more important things in life, talk to your family everyday, meet your friends, fulfil all your crazy dreams and fall in love with yourself. Be the Kangana of Queen, rule the hearts around you!



PS - This was a self healing blog, sometimes you need to advice yourself and pull yourself out of the shit you are stuck in waiting to be rescued!!

 

a part of every 'me' ...

Practical, Strong and Ambitious
I met a man today who knew me for sometime now and after a conversation today he described me with these three words. I laughed when he said that, trying to find myself in each of those but there was no sign of me in any of them. After a while I left for home forgetting everything about the conversation.
Sometime back when I was sitting in my room and staring at the window, suddenly there were tears in my eyes, they were huge and unstoppable. The worst part was I had no idea why did they come at the first place. It was only me in the room confused on the sudden emotional outbreak and crazy water gushing out of my tear glands.
This was the part where I knew I was not strong. I was just a chick who pretended to be strong but from within I am shit scared of people around me, people hurting me, people trying to put me down and situations that can test me. I go numb in hard times but people believe it to be strength. It is all because they do not know I am filled with fear from inside and these occasional unknown, unnecessary and out of the blue breakdown is the obvious result.
I wiped my tears and went on the terrace trying to call somebody who would listen to me. Arnav, Mom, I could not think of a third name.. I guess I just have them right now. What happened to all those people who were in the happy pictures with me? What stops me from telling them what I feel? Am I pretentious? Always on a mission to show that I am fine and practical about things, showing that I do not care a bit when a friend I always looked upon just leaves me one day. I am as emotional as one can be. That is why I expect and hope that all those who  have left  me behind  might meet me on the way someday and we again get to click happy pictures.
When nobody was available to talk I knew I had made these situations and it was okay because I had to deal with them. I remembered the man's words and smiled. He was so wrong or maybe I was good with manipulation. The 2 hours alone proved I wasn't practical and I was scared galways. The ambitious part was also nowhere true, me who still can't figure out what I need from my life is sure not ambitious enough.
But I have hope with me.. Hope to live life and enjoy everything it gives.. though with a scared heart which is emotionally paralysed and a mind that is chaotic every time.. I will live with it.. And maybe continue manipulating too.. Or maybe not..

Rockstars :-*

"My mom is nothing less than a wonder woman, she is the father when I go out of control, she is the best friend when I need a confidante and the support when I am weak."

Yes, I am a kid with a single mother. I do miss having my father around, but I am sure he must be proud of my mommy's job. And this one is for all the women striving to play the roles of the man and woman in the family.

Single mothers, this is either because god gets cruel and takes away her support or life gets harsh and she has to seperate with a divorce. Whatever the reason, the consequences is what defines her.

The part where these mothers are tested are when they have to smile to their kids and give them courage. Their tears, their loss and their fear is all locked up somewhere in some corner of their minds and soul. Now what next? The only thing they know is that they have to survive to see thier kids live. This is the beauty of every single mother who know how to live with courage.

Their strength is something that our society do not understand sometimes or neglect it totally. Single mothers and their kids are often looked at with a different perspective altogether. The times when they are thought vulnerable are difficult times when the Moms have to be the super heroes and fight against the world holding their integrity and keeping the kids away from the scars.

A family without a father is incomplete, but they know how to find happiness in the same vaccuum. This is taught by the single mother. She works to support the family, she nurtures the kids and when she is alone sleeping on the bed feeling the empty space next to her, she closes her eyes and puts herself in place again to survive the next day.

A father cannot handle kids alone, but a mother can sure be a rockstar here. So, for all the women who are single mothers for whatever reasons, a salute!

Cheers!!

What is with the Accent, Dude?

"And yes I am getting a little annoyed with that speech. Why do you want to bark like a bitch from London when you are in Shanivar Wada, Pune?"
Sal was pissed off because a girl just spoke to her with this accent which kind of sounded like she was struggling to get through. This girl (name not to be mentioned) is born and brought up in India. She was out of country for a few months, note only for a few months and she came back with this weird accent. I do not understand how can a few months transform the speech you have been learning for years altogether.
"Haha! Sal you are going to get a lot of these. I met this guy once, who tried to talk like
'Hey babe watsa, you lookin b-u-tifool'
His accent was totally made up and turning off",
Pia was staring at the girl clicking pictures of the fort and pretending to be mesmerized by the view she must have been seeing since birth.
Somehow people have started to have this thing in their mind that they could impress others with a foreign accent. I mean, seriously, they are not impressed and in reality they hardly get a thing you are trying to say. For people who are born and brought up abroad or are living there for quite a few years, the accent comes naturally. Why fake something you do not clearly possess?
"I know, I had this interview with an author. Not only did he have this 'good for nothing' attitude but he also spoke in this UK accent. I wish his books too had that good language", I totally agreed with Sal and Pia.
Right from a few celebreties to some normal kids next door, everybody is leaving the fancy 'Indo English' accent for some fake one. This is like trying to change yourself to fit in an invisible and cool group of wanna be's. Or maybe it is just some boring people like us who still love putting down 'yaar' in the end of every English Statement.
This blog post is solely fictitious.. there are no people in my life with any speech defects.. the ones mentioned do not relate to real life :-P
- Anvi Mehta

W-O-M-A-N-I-Y-A

Recently I read a quite an interesting post on Women in India. ‘Inspired’ by it, I decided to get a little feminine this week as it is the International Women’s Day.

Today all over the web there are articles, poems and columns which are stressing on sensitive issues like Women Safety, Women Health and Women Empowerment.  Keeping apart all the somber issues I am going to be a little generic at present.

Woman – is a fairly misunderstood term or you could say an unveiled mystery.  There is hardly any person who has understood a Woman anywhere on the planet.  In all these years, the ideas, aspirations and importance of a woman have evolved a lot. Women in India are also surfacing to change their image from a simple housewife to a smart and confidant working lady. This transformation of women has been a little complex than expected though.

There are certain misunderstandings and confusions in the minds of both men and women when it comes to their transformed personalities. Today, I am going to highlight them a little, because women might never be secure anymore, but they at least need others to know them better to live joyful and pleased.

To start with, well, I really feel pity on men who still think women are dumb. This is the biggest illusion you have created for yourselves. Definitely, we women are not interested in Football, Cars and Sports as you men are not aware of Pedicures, Facials and Child Care.  And most of the women like pretending dumb because your tinny tiny ego remains satisfied in this way. Answer me, would you date a girl who is way smarter than your balls...Oops sorry brains?

This just doesn’t end here. The Indian society is making women go crazy with their altering choice in ladies. One fine day, every single girl wants to have the ‘zero figure’. Till the time she achieves that, the trend of curves is back! In this case, I blame the women as well. Why do we want to do something the actresses go for? They are paid for having sexy bodies and we pay for having sexy bodies. Being fit is more important, irrespective of the curves or zero figures.

If it was not just the weight and figure, skin exposure is also become cliché. Even for women who still believe showing skin would make you popular, you need to grow up. I guess soon men are not even going to be awed of women in shorts and skirts. So, for all the women who are reading this, hide it and let people wonder what is hidden from their view! Curiosity makes it spicy!

Even after all the hurdles and differences, love makes a man and woman bind together. But, gone were the days when ‘Meeting my Prince to happily live after’ was the alone ambition in a woman’s life. Now, there is career, success, fame and all that crap which has made the prince a pauper. Choosing between Love and career is a big controversy. This hullabaloo has resulted in chaotic relationships, frustrated single women and bad households. We as women must make choices soon, and never regret them – be it being a housewife, a working woman or both. And for the men and society, respect the lady for whoever she wishes to be!

When I walked out of my house today, I saw a woman carrying cement buckets in one hand and a kid on the other walking down the road. She was probably working at the nearby construction site. I went to my regular Breakfast place. It was run by a Single Mother who had employed 7-8 poor women to help her and in return she gave them enough money to survive the month and give good education to their kids. There was another lady customer there who had come on a Bullet; she carried the bike off so well, she looked incredible on it. The Bullet is one bike that half the men cannot pull off well. I talked to her about the bike and she was good enough to give me a ride to my office. Near the office there was a woman fighting with the vegetable vendor, struggling to get an onion extra for free. Not even half a day, and there were implausible inspiring women right in front of me.

The reason why I mentioned all this is that in these past few months, I have been reading a Rape or Women Assault news every day. Rape is a very sensitive issue, but it is depressing and dispiriting as well. These news create fear among women and cut their wings off. Yes, women are not safe but why suffocate them with it? There should be media awareness, but why only the bad side of it? Why cannot we support women who are real life motivators? Just look around and there will be plenty of them. Support them, learn from them and fight against the bad. Set the example you want to be.

We as women also need to stop for a moment and think of what we want rather than what people around us are expecting from us. This Women’s Day, eat junk food, wear a pajama and roam all over the town, shout all the indecent words you know, let people know you are done being underrated and kick the ones who want cannot possible understand it. You deserve better!

Cheers to all those lovely ladies!!

- Anvi Mehta

Another love story..!!

"I kinna like you."
"So do I"
"It is hardly been a week we have met."
"But 3 months we have talked over Facebook and Mesaging."
"Next what?"
And Pankhi was thinking of what to do next, untill she felt Aariv's lips on hers. He softly brushed his lips enough to taste her strawberry flavored lip balm. She was seated on her Activa and he stood next to her. The road was empty and dark with just a few flickering street lights around. She had goosebumps all over her because of the touch they had just shared. They kissed again, this time it was more than tasting the lip balm though. Till she left there were a lot of good bye kisses shared by the two.
In the night, they were texting again,
"So, this means I am your girlfriend na?"
"LOL, Are you seriously asking me this? We just kissed like maniacs!"
"Haha, you never asked me out properly so was doubtful."
"Good Night"
Pankhi was still confused if she was actually dating this guy. They had accidentally met on Facebook. She had accepted his Friend's request because his name was appealing. He was from the same city but Pankhi's junior. From talking of ex relationships to cricket to education system of India, they had covered it all. Day and night they were on Facebook.
"So, I will not be online from tomorrow."
"Hmm.. you may text me den!"
"Aariv, I would love to, if I had your number."
"Never realized that but you may have it."
"Being a girl, I have to do everything. Could not you ask me for my number directly?"
This is how they exchanged numbers. The texting had become contagious even before they realized it.
"Your friend in that picture is quite cute."
"You wanna meet him? I will do the neccessities."
"Sure. Give him my number"
"You serious?"
"As if you will do that and he would contact me!"
"Actually come near our cricket grounds tomorrow evening to meet us."
"You never called me to meet you though we talked for over 3 months"
"I will also be here na"
"Okay! FYI I am not into that guy."
"Haha! He might just be into you then"
That evening they met, and after that meet there was no stopping. Though Aariv wanted to be the cupid between Pankhi and his cute friend, his arrow hit him instead. In a week they went from stupid buddies to insane lovers.
Their love had blossomed without any rose, proposal, coffee or expensive gifts. All they had were the wet but cute kisses..
Infact all they would have even after 2 years would be love filled kisses..!! They might just be one couple you would read a lot in the coming days..

"Family is more important, honey"

Valentine's is finally over. The whole week must have passed in romance with all the couples. But the end of this horrendous week was such a relief for many single men. There are single women as well, but 80% of them tend to have at least some guy hitting on her or trying to woo her. It is the men who have to suffer.

A lot of male friends text me on Valentine's saying, "I miss her today a lot, dude." Apparently, they all had broken up with their respective partner quite recently. The sad part in the break up was that they were in a relation from a span of 2-5 years. The shocking part was almost all the guys were ditched; the reason for the break up was also similar,

"I do not think we have a future. My family will not accept us."

or,

"I cannot go against my family. Love marriages are strictly prohibited."

Indian women perhaps have a problem with understanding facts and feelings. I mean, hello missy, if you knew there is no love business allowed in your family, why even go for a relationship. Our mentality as women is so confused, we criticize one night stands but we do not mind having an affair though in the end there is no intention of marriage or commitment.

Trends are changing drastically. Women can move on after a break up very easily. Yes, they do feel bad and are hurt as well. But, they have a male best friend supporting them or some other ‘just friend’ trying to cheer up. Some years back there were men traumatizing women, the females used to cry in some bedroom corner shouting,

"He used me.. I was just an object for pleasure."

Very soon the guys are going to say that they were being used for pleasure, I guess there are some saying this already.

We women should understand the fact if somebody is getting involved you must get yourself clear. If you think he is not the one for your family, stop being a freaking hypocrite and either leave him or your family instantly. Your family or situations are not going to change after years of waiting. It is you who have to change things.

And men, the simple and innocent women you look for end up either ditching you, betraying you or making you nothing but a pet. You must think with your brains before getting involved rather than your.. hope you got it.

Life is short people..why cry over relations that certainly cannot be mended..flirt around..fall in love again and again..more than once is totally agreed these days!!